Rabbit Hole of Mindfulness

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+I have a few meditation apps, one called Calm and one called Aura (both free versions, of course).

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Me doing some yoga with my friend Melissa as photographer. We actually went to a free yoga session after this in the RR Park in Birmingham, where she lives!

Calm mentioned something to me last time that stuck with me, and that is being mindful of the present instead of focusing on invading thoughts. I used to think – but why would I focus on mindfulness if I don’t want to be here in this situation? Usually I could take myself away with happy thoughts and daydreams.

But I start to realize that they mean mindfulness as an escape from nightmarish thoughts, the ones that get you in a negative state and poke at you eternally.

Lately, I’ve been dealing with co-worker issues. I am a friendly person, I swear, who always tries to do my best and be professional and be happy. But some personalities clash, and some people have different ideas on what is professional, and some people are two faced bitches.

(Yes, bitches has become my new favorite phrase lately, kind of makes me feel cathartic. Yes I’m a spiritual person, and it actually releases some stress when I say the word, so there!! lol)

Also, to be clear, I work in events where different people take charge and be the head House Manager for certain events, but lately everyone tries to take charge over other people, and it just doesn’t work. What is most annoying is, we are not working as a team when we should be.

We are talking behind each others’ backs, annoying the hell out of each other in person, and then smooth our faces several minutes later and pretend it didn’t happen, but continue to talk about each other. Does it sound like women to you? Yeah, it doesn’t help that in my department we’re mostly women. Apparently women who have trouble with team work.

I really don’t know what it is with certain people, or in my case certain co-workers, y’all. My husband says he works with mostly nice people, while my mom has had social problems at work all her life. I never thought I would have the problem myself, but there you go. I have a friend at work I can share my thoughts with, and she’s completely on my side, and thinks these certain people are weird, and rude, and those that just like to be in control and won’t have it another way. Won’t admit they’re wrong for anything.

(Which brings me to another tangent that whenever I’m in charge, I take the blame for whatever wrong occurs because guess what? I probably didn’t communicate clearly so something went wrong. Therefore, it’s my fault. I’m imperfect – I learn from it for next time. But if you’re in charge and don’t take the falls, then that’s an immature way to handle things. In my opinion.)

You can tell I’m dealing with stuff. And I find that these certain PEOPLE kept creeping up in my thoughts, and certain dang SITUATIONS replayed in my mind, whether how it turned out or how I would want it to turn out or… on and on and on.

So I’m realizing… oh, so MINDFULNESS is being in the moment, noticing what is happening and being more of an observer. Kind of taking out emotional reactions. But also being in the moment and with the people I’m with, (or with myself if I’m at home and ruminating), and not thinking about those replaying thoughts.

So, I’ve been trying to push the thoughts that make me feel negative away. Trying to replace it with positive ones, like concentrating on my goals, or thinking of my husband, or even general things like fairies and nature. Looking out a window at the sunshine.

BECAUSE if I don’t push out the thoughts, than those negative people and situations have taken control of me, have dominated me (probably how they wanted to dominate me) and I ALLOWED IT!!

So thought-control/mindfulness in this manner is one step that I’m taking, and one that will take a lot of PRACTICE. (Just like yoga is a forever practice.)

Another step I’m taking is prayer. Repeating affirmations about my life, my work, and my goals to Goddess/God, Angels, and the Universe. How do I want to solve this? What do I want my next steps to be? Can I pray to clear out of my life those that affect me negatively? It couldn’t hurt. Once you learn your physical lesson, that problem fades out of your life anyway. And I am certainly learning in this situation.

Practice.

Breathe slower.

Focus on mindfulness.

Vanishing thoughts.

Only pleasant thoughts.

 

Namaste With Love,

~Celestial K.

celestialk.weebly.com  (My site)

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5 thoughts on “Rabbit Hole of Mindfulness

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